英文简历的致命错误

时间:2018-08-01 英文简历 我要投稿

  致命的大错

  "finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

  "qualifications: no education or experience."

  "i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

  "my compensation should be at least equal to my age."

  "reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec."

  "fired because i fought for lower pay."

  "size of employer: very tall, probably over 65" .

  "please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

  "reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near."

  "reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia.

  i prefer to elaborate privately."

  打字错误与语法错误

  "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

  "strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

  "i am a rabid typist."

  "work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

  "after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to

  pursue a new line of work."

  "accounting cleric."

  "as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

  "suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."

  "suspected to graduate early next year."

  "disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

  "proven ability to track down and correct erors."

  "accomplishments: oversight of entire department."

  "am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

  "accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school."

  不应有的幽默

  "note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house."

  "assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (translation: short-order cook.)

  "but wait...theres more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

  "i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse."

  "my fortune cookie said, your next interview will result in a job-and i like your company in particular."

  "title: another resume from the profiles in excellence series."

  "also known as: mr. productivity, mr. clever, mr.fix-it."

  "trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks."

  "lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."

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